Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
