Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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