It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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