5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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