You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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