I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
