i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
