that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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