do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
false alarm. still invincible.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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