Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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