You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
