remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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