you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
