They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
