What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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