That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Randomize
