Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Randomize
