remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
