So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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