Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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