i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
