The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Your penis caused this!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
