he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
