i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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