Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
