she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
