He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
