Where is the hickey?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
