i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
