Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
