dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
