Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
