shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
