We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
