He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
