If that was your dad, he is hot
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My ass is underappreciated
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
