IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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