I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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