oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize