I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
