He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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