True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude i'm inner monologue high
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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