I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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