i permit you to call me
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize