I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
