Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
