Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
