i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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