I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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