I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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