one might say we're banned from that church
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
