I'm lost and stupid without you.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
