We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
