@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
