I just made out with a guy for $7.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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