Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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