So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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