i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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