So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
