we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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