HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
