I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
