Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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